beautiful broken

this is my traditional time of year for cabin fever...

2012-02-14T09:07:00.000-08:00

at least i know i am consistent. every year, more or less about this time, i get a raging case of cabin fever. and, as it turns out, it has very little to do with being stuck inside by the weather. it has been relatively dry here. cold yes, (it IS winter after all) but no big snows like we have had in the last several years. it is more a sense of personal stagnation. i just want to get up and go, anywhere, in the car, by plane, by train, whatever. even just a short weekend trip would help. obviously, i would love to hold out for a luxurious, all expense paid trip to maui, but at this point i would take two days over the idaho border in coeur d'alene. i suppose every one settles into a routine from time to time, and i know that there are some people who take a lot of comfort in a set pattern. in fact, if my routine gets changed, and it isn't my idea...look the heck out! (i never claimed to make much sense. )
maybe the biggest issue is that i have apparently lost my sense of adventure. i used to go everywhere by myself. i even enjoyed it. all i needed was a book, and lots of good music, and i didn't mind being on my own. in fact, i have always been a little solitary by nature. but in the last 10 years, i seem to have forgotten how to go by myself. and my husband is a worker by nature. he loves to be home, working. working on the porch, working on the fence, working on the car. he isn't the best at spontaneously jumping in the car and heading away for day. and i hate to ask him all the time.
so, until i get braver, or he gets ready for a break, or i find something else to distract me, i have pictures of my past adventures to get me by. i have lots and lots of pictures. and i can plan for my future trips and adventures when i will come home with lots and lots more.

good thursday...

2012-02-09T21:10:00.000-08:00

nearly to the weekend, and some free time with my husband. i know it is early february, but i am so ready for blooming things, green things and wonderful mild spring weather.... i kind of long for the chance to go hiking and photographing without having to layer on the entire contents of my closet.
oh well.... soon enough.

look again.

2012-02-05T09:33:00.000-08:00

as part of my search for new perspective this year, i am trying to be more aware of my surroundings. my husband laughs at my, because, for all my love of trivia and facts, i am generally totally oblivious to my surroundings. so i am going to try to take the opportunity to look again at things, to look differently at things, and to pay attention to things. while it can be so easy to recognize the negative, it can be a lot harder to see the beauty. but you know what? it's out there. so let's find it, let's see it, let's pay attention to and cherish it.

is it really a new beginning when you do it every six months?

2012-01-30T17:57:00.000-08:00

well, here we are once again... new year, new start, looking for a new job, and most of all, looking for a new perspective. whether that new perspective is in connection to taking care of myself, or my husband or my life, it is past time for a change. half in jest, i told a friend that 2012 should be the year of "outside-y" stuff, but the more i think about it, the more i think that is a great idea. get up, get out, get involved... quit telling myself that i will do it tomorrow. i think about how many blessings i have, and even though there are days when i feel like it is all i can do to get out of bed and put clothes on, i need to remember to live. remember to laugh hard any time i can, and remember on those gray and foggy days, this too shall pass.
probably the most important thing though, this year, will be to know ahead of time that there will times when i wuss out, or get lazy, or fall in a hole and that it will be okay. it doesn't make me a bad person, it doesn't make me worthless, it doesn't make me incapable of following through on anything.... it just makes me human. i deserve the same consideration toward myself that i offer others.
so it is bittersweet to start over, yet again, but it is hopeful too. and i just need to keep reminding myself of that.

why am i so obsessed with the jelly fish tanks at aquariums?!

2011-09-27T16:52:00.000-07:00

stop and smell....

2011-08-17T16:56:00.000-07:00

i wish this blog came with smell-o-vision, because this rose was heavenly....

look closely...

2011-07-28T12:35:00.000-07:00

because nature is pretty freaking amazing.

it is amazing what you see when you actually LOOK at things....

2011-07-25T13:19:00.000-07:00

even something as prosaic as grocery shopping holds some potential for inspiration... not to mention all that sexy produce! =)

a long and unecessary absence....

2011-07-20T16:58:00.000-07:00

sad to say, i have been beyond lazy. no picture taking, no creativity, no real thinking, just coasting along like a lump. well, i for one am fed up. so, here we are...let's try this again.

thanks for your patience.

some make up work...

2011-01-22T09:32:00.000-08:00

this has been a particularly beautiful winter in spokane this year. i am not sure if that is because it actually HAS been more beautiful, or if i have just trained myself to notice it better. regardless, i have many pictures to share, and as it has been an embarrassingly long time since i have posted anything... here are several of my favorites...

lighten up...

2010-12-15T12:44:00.000-08:00

this is the time of year when it seems like i go to work in the dark, and i get home in the dark. and in between the two, i have no time for taking the pictures. i suppose that i could make an early "resolution" to get better about taking pictures where ever and when ever, but the problem with resolutions is that most people break them...(myself included.) so i will just enjoy it when inspiration strikes, and deal with it when it doesn't.

a little birdie...

2010-12-03T09:54:00.000-08:00

we have had so so much snow in the last week or so, that we finally broke down and bought an industrial size container of birdseed to take care of all the little critters that couldn't find easy food through sixteen inches of the white stuff. they went totally NUTS! it is fun to watch them squabble with each other over the seeds, and even more fun to take pictures when it seems like they are posing on purpose.

so cute!

a splash of color...

2010-11-30T13:40:00.000-08:00

2010-11-29T15:31:00.000-08:00

in search of a little hope...

2010-11-15T12:28:00.000-08:00

i have found that upsetting news is always more upsetting when it is about someone i love. it is so much easier for me to plow through the shock and fear when i am the bad-news bear. hearing that my mom could be in the midst of a health crisis has felt like a kick to the gut, and i hate that helpless, just -don't-know-what-to-do feeling. once the shock passes, and more information is gathered, then a plan can made and you can start to handle things. but in the meantime, i am just looking for a little hope and assurance that whatever happens, we can get through it.

the fall...

2010-11-09T08:09:00.000-08:00

this looks like the aftermath of the forest scene in the wizard of oz. it even seems to be in technicolor....
i can't believe how vivid the colors are, especially in light of the fact that it was a gray and cloudy afternoon.

a postcard view...

2010-11-08T08:22:00.000-08:00

there are so many beautiful viewpoints in spokane. sometimes i forget just how lucky i am to live in a place with so much landscape diversity and beauty. our historic buildings, parks, and the river flowing through the middle of downtown really make this a unique place to live. and i think it is really important to stop and remind ourselves of that....

scenic saturday

2010-11-06T09:09:00.001-07:00

bountiful berries

2010-11-05T10:23:00.000-07:00

okay, so technically they aren't berries, but they certainly are bountiful. it is amazing to see what a colorful autumn we are having, even though, from what i have heard, the abundance of berries (especially on mountain ash) points to a MAJOR winter coming. guess i will handle that when it happens, and in the meantime enjoy such a spectacular fall.

want (sometimes lyrics just say it better)

2010-11-04T08:12:00.000-07:00

i want the sky to fall in, i want lightning and thunder, i want blood instead of rain, i want the world to make me wonder, want to walk on water, take a trip to the moon, give me all this, and give me it soon....

"want" the cure

why did i wait so long?

2010-11-03T10:08:00.000-07:00

i had such a good time going around and taking pics this weekend, that i cannot for the life of me figure out why it took me so long to get out and do it....*sigh* who knows with me. =)

believe it or not, there is no photo manipulation here. i just walked up, and took this picture.

it's like the technicolor part in the wizard of oz....

2010-11-02T10:26:00.000-07:00

after what seems like days of drearieness, ( but that was just me) i found some color again. saturday, aka photo safari day was a lot of fun, and the trees at the arboretum were gorgeous.... and the apple cider donuts at greenbluff were delicious. i accidentally had three. and i could easily, accidentally have more. =)

happy halloween!

2010-10-31T08:30:00.000-07:00

for a change, i have no real plans to celebrate today. i don't even have a costume, and normally i LOVE DRESSING UP. in fact, i often treat getting dressed each day as a matter of which role i want to play.
but i think it will be a good day anyway. hope the same holds true for everyone today!

favorite things...

2010-10-30T08:50:00.000-07:00

it is saturday, and while i really should use the day off to clean house and do some "productive" things, i think i might just take myself off on a photo safari.... it would be a good chance to get some great fall pictures, and a change from my usual shots of flowers etc. of course, there is nothing wrong with flower, but it is nice to expand the horizons on occasion...

ooh, a twofer!

2010-10-27T13:03:00.000-07:00

it is nice to feel like i am finally getting my enthusiasm back. i forgot how much fun i have with photography, and so i won't regret having such a long break from it, if that is what it takes to bring back the enjoyment of it that i had been missing.

the changing of the seasons....

2010-10-27T12:44:00.000-07:00

while i often talk about how much i would love to live in hawaii, the truth is that i would really miss the variety of weather and seasons we have here in the inland northwest. there are distinct things i love about each time of year, and the continual change helps keep me from going stir crazy.

this fall has been beautiful, and i know that when winter officially shows up, it will be beautiful too. and of course, as the cold weather wears on, it will be a pleasure to look at pictures like this and know that the warm weather is just a short time away....

a little bit of color

2010-10-26T18:53:00.000-07:00

yesterday the sky was unbelievable. it was probably one of the most gorgeous sunsets i have ever seen in spokane, and i, like a dope, did not have my camera. so i made sure to bring it with me everywhere i went today. and of course, there was not a speck of color in the sky tonight on my way home. go figure.
well, now i know.... always be prepared, and take the camera EVERYWHERE.

long time, no post....

2010-10-25T14:45:00.000-07:00

and no good excuses for why i haven't. just a mild case of burn-out, i guess. i went nearly two months without taking any pictures at all, and honestly, the drive to to anything with photography just hasn't been there.
but the fall colors have been especially brilliant here this fall, and i am itching to get out there before they are all gone. of course, since i haven't been out shooting yet, i don't have any pics of the colors to post. soon, hopefully... until then, here is something else.

a little reminder

2010-09-26T08:57:00.000-07:00

this time of year often makes me feel unsettled. there is so much happening, and so fast (some stores here have christmas trees out already) that i feel like i am arriving places ten minutes before i left to get there.
so i like pictures like this, that remind me to stop, take a deep breath, and look at things a bit closer.

around the bend

2010-09-25T08:51:00.000-07:00

looking back at all the hundreds of pictures i have taken since starting this photography hobby of mine, i noticed that i take a TON of pictures of paths. there is something so fascinating to me in capturing the winding turns, and the sense of wonder about what might be beyond the bend in the road. i love the sense that the path you are on can take you anywhere at all.

cape flattery trail, north of neah bay in washington state

oh, the shame...

2010-09-24T09:34:00.000-07:00

i hate to admit it, but i have not taken a single, solitary picture since the 11th of this month. i have seen several things that i thought would make a good picture, but haven't had the time (driving) or the energy (first thing in the morning) to haul out the camera and snap away.

so it is a VERY good thing i took so many pics on vacation. =)
plus, sometimes a little break from something you love makes it all the better when you come back to it.

trying to get back on track....

2010-09-23T08:22:00.000-07:00

what with the whole two jobs thing, (to which i am STILL adjusting) and then getting the mother of all allergy flare-ups as soon as i got back from vacation, i have been wandering around in a total fog, and not the fun "halloween-y" kind....
so, that is my excuse. from here on out, i resolve to do better with my posting. and away we go!

my handsome husband at fort worden. i am trying to get better at photos with actual people in them. =)

paddle your own canoe....

2010-09-18T09:15:00.000-07:00

fort worden near port townsend, washington

they say a change will do you good....

2010-09-12T08:58:00.000-07:00

i am at point (and this happens every fall) where i get restless and yearn for big changes. maybe it is a holdover from school starting each fall, but now that i am all "grown up", all that energy usually translates itself into a massive de-cluttering and cleaning, and an occasional rearranging of furniture. one thing i have noticed in trying to take better and better pictures, is that a big change sometime occurs simply by approaching from a slightly different angle. it is like the way taking a photo at sunset completely transforms an already beautiful stretch of coastline into something even more....

learning to see

2010-09-11T08:04:00.000-07:00

one of the best things i have learned over the year that i have really begun to take photography seriously is how to really look at the surrounding world. i experienced the feeling to a certain extent several years ago when i took a series of watercolor classes led by my grandpa. And my aunt has written in her blog "Writing With Light" about learning the same thing. Isn't it wonderful to live in a world where everything is beautiful, or interesting, or thrilling, simply depending on how you view it?

just as promised

2010-09-10T18:14:00.000-07:00

here is photo part the second. all i know, is thank goodness it is friday!

photo blog FAIL...

2010-09-10T11:23:00.000-07:00

i just started working my second job this week, and boy is it kicking my tushy.... so i just completely forgot that i had committed to myself to post a picture everyday (that i am not on vacation and away from my computer...)
so, to make up for it, i will post...wait for it....TWO pictures today. one now, and one later.
drumroll please, and here we go!

riverside state park, spokane washington, spring 2010

its just like where's waldo...

2010-09-08T19:40:00.000-07:00

look closely and you might see a secret surprise. this was on the ediz hook in port angeles, wa.

gotta win the lottery...

2010-09-07T06:57:00.000-07:00

...so i can quit working and spend all my time traveling around, taking pictures like this.

cape flattery, the northwesternmost point of the continental united states.

moody mondays

2010-09-06T08:07:00.000-07:00

this year i am having a really hard time coming home from vacation. by the end of a week away from home, my husband cannot wait to get back to our dogs, and a routine, and all of the things that were left waiting for us while we were gone. i am usually ready to see the dogs and our friends and families, but if i was to be completely honest.... i could be on vacation forever.
and this time... i am kind of dreading the return to "real" life. hopefully that is mostly sleep deprivation talking and i will snap out of it soon. who knows. maybe the best cure would be to just go out and take some more pictures.

abandoned bunkers at fort worden, near port townsend, wa

back in black...

2010-09-05T08:57:00.000-07:00

...so to speak. we rolled into town early in the morning (3:30 ish) yesterday, after deciding to head home on the spur of the moment. it was very apparent the campground at which we were staying had been overrun by "weekend warriors" and there wouldn't be much sleeping being done. when all is said and done, i am still recovering from a tiring overnight drive, but vacation itself was WONDERFUL. so brace yourselves for a truck load of pics.... ( i took 745 in five days. i would have taken more, but it rained all day tuesday and i kept my camera tucked up.)

this is the lighthouse at fort worden near port townsend, wa

freaky friday...

2010-08-27T08:09:00.000-07:00

the last work day before vacation is always just like medieval torture. hopefully i get through it okay, because, tomorrow.... i am outta here!

happy anniversary....to me!

2010-08-26T08:18:00.000-07:00

four years today! it has gone so fast. and this has nothing to do with posting pictures, except i think it is pretty darned exciting.

this is from an early morning walk i took with my mom at our family reunion in mccall this last weekend.

ghost fountain

2010-08-25T08:40:00.001-07:00

sometimes the pictures you think didn't turn out end up being cooler than you think, when viewed on a larger screen...

a light in the darkness

2010-08-24T08:23:00.000-07:00

i am on a little bit of a crusade to showcase why i love spokane so much. it seems that many people move here, temporarily or not, and then are disgruntled with spokane for not being seattle, or portland or even larger cities. you get out of something exactly what you put in. if you look, spokane is pretty awesome as it is.

"vintage" advertising....

2010-08-23T11:01:00.000-07:00

on a recent stroll around downtown spokane, i noticed (by which i mean, really "looked") for the first time just how much vintage advertising we have all over the place. many of our brick buildings still have their original signs painted directly on the bricks, advertising things like 75 cent a night hotel room rates. this sign was the first to really catch my eye.

home again, home again....

2010-08-22T18:50:00.000-07:00

this was a great weekend, filled with family, and laughter, and (always important...) dogs!

off to the lake...

2010-08-20T06:03:00.000-07:00

i am pretty excited for my trip this weekend. hopefully it will result in some great shots from a totally new location... so, off we go!

on the road again....

2010-08-19T08:28:00.000-07:00

heading out tomorrow for a quick weekend trip to southern idaho, for a family reunion. i do love a good road trip!

exploring washington...

2010-08-18T08:59:00.000-07:00

this has been my summer for finally getting to some of the places i have wanted to explore, but haven't gotten to yet.... and since i love car rides, half the fun has been in the journey. the short trips to places like steptoe butte, and the palouse falls are just as enjoyable to me as actually arriving and exploring the locations. plus, i think it is fun and a challenge to try to get good shots out the car window at speeds of 60 mph and up! =)
this is on the palouse on the way to steptoe butte over the fourth of july weekend. it kind of reminds me of the movie "toys" which was, of course, filmed in the area.

wings like jewels...

2010-08-17T08:11:00.000-07:00

normally i try not to get to near insects etc. as they completely give me the heebies, but this dragonfly had such delicate looking wings, and turquoise eyes, that i couldn't resist taking a close shot.

another monday!

2010-08-16T08:07:00.000-07:00

and the vacation countdown really begins.... and on an unrelated note.... here is another picture to look at.

a beginning.....

2010-08-15T08:56:00.000-07:00

on my vacation to the oregon coast last year, for the first time i really began to feel like i might have (at least a little) a talent for photography. i shot over 550 pictures in about 5 days, and while these are by no means all of the shots that i love from that trip, these are really the reason i now have a really nice camera, and a hunger to take pictures *all the time*..., so because it is sunday, and because i can, here are a whole bunch of my favorite pictures. (all of which were taken with a canon powershot point and shoot camera.)

saturday in the park.....

2010-08-14T08:06:00.000-07:00

in Spokane, we are so lucky to have Manito Park to enjoy, especially in spring and early summer when everything is a riot of color. this reminds me of (what I envision as) an english garden on a country estate. or maybe i am just letting my imagination run around off its leash too much...

i am longing for the fresh smell of the ocean....

2010-08-13T08:18:00.000-07:00

until about three years ago, i knew i liked the ocean, but i had no idea that it was kind of my "heart home". there is really almost no place i would rather be than the central oregon coast, and while i don't get to go there this summer, at least i have pictures like this to remind me of how much i love it.

the final countdown....

2010-08-12T08:35:00.000-07:00

okay, well i still have two weeks, but i have the most serious case of vacation brain EVER. i don't know what my damage is this year...but, in honor of the fact that a) i LOVE the ocean and 2) i am going to the ocean again this year, here is a picture i took at the ocean last year.

i don't know about you....

2010-08-11T09:15:00.000-07:00

but i need a jolt of color to get through hump day...

my grandpa

2010-08-10T08:16:00.000-07:00

my grandpa is one of the most amazing human beings i know, and i am so lucky to be able to see him nearly everyday. to me, this picture really captures his personality, his story telling and charming (and totally goofy) sense of humor.

vintage poppies

2010-08-09T08:22:00.000-07:00

i LOVE this picture. if i could figure out a way to wallpaper my house with this, (and keep my husband from losing his mind) i totally would....

2010-08-08T13:12:00.000-07:00

i have no idea who this kiddo is, but he was so cute as he "explored" the japanese gardens at manito park.... i just had to get a picture. plus, i find i often take pictures of the same things (scenery), so this was a good opportunity to try my hand at portraiture.

reflections

2010-08-07T10:59:00.000-07:00

i am endlessly fascinated by water's ability to reflect, and the way things can be seen differently just by gazing at a reflection of it.

a whole new vista....

2010-08-06T08:51:00.000-07:00

sometimes this whole "blogging" thing seems pointless, because i could just talk to myself and get the same exact feedback and response. plus, i wouldn't have to be bothered with spelling and punctuation and all that nerdy grammar stuff that i secretly love. but then i remember that i am mostly doing this for me anyway, and that it is good to be held accountable to a committment, even if it is just a picture a day.

so, anyway, i just discovered a photo-editing site, which is super awesome, because i am too cheap to buy photoshop, and also wouldn't have the foggiest what to do with it if i had it.

but with the site i found, i can make pictures that look like this....

a picture a day...

2010-08-05T16:09:00.000-07:00


in the middle of the channeled scabland of southeastern washington, the beautiful palouse falls is a refreshing surprise.

my husband thinks i should be a "photoblogger", because i have approximately 90 gazillion pictures cluttering up our hard drive, and not many ways to showcase them. i am beginning to think he has a point. so i think i am going to shoot for a picture (or so) a day. plus, if i am thinking about beautiful photos, i am not thinking about myself, and whining about my admittedly small problems. so, here we go!

the center cannot hold....

2010-04-10T18:09:00.000-07:00

because it just seems like too much work. for whatever reason lately, i just cannot seem to get motivated. procrastination has become the rule rather than the exception, and i would be willing to let it go if it made me happy, but all i feel right now is extreme guilt for being lazy, and agitation because everything around me seems to be cluttered and dusty and disorganized and covered in dog hair.
i can't even seem to take care of myself lately. it is just too much effort. eating right? meh. exercising? what is the point?

i hate being like this, but it really seems that more unmotivated i feel, the less likely it is that i will actually do anything. i really need a kick in the butt. and some ideas on how to get started again.

i know that having my new camera will help be inspired to go and do. at least it will once the weather improves. and i know that once i get started, things will snowball, in the best possible way. it has always happened that way before. but in the meantime, i just need something, a little tiny something, to set me off. to get me moving, and inspired, and excited about life again. i can't wait.

a saga of car shopping or the folly of giving your heart to a toyota rav 4

2010-04-09T08:36:00.000-07:00

as a fairly impulsive person, i have spent most of my life making snap decisions. i try to keep the snap judgments to things and not people, and i would like to think that i am mostly successful.i can usually decide in a matter of minutes if i am going to make a purchase, or start a project, or paint the house. and i almost never have any regrets. i just decide and do.
however, i married a ponderer. and overly thrifty soul.
i tease him about being a pollack, but i really wonder if this need to over consider every miniscule detail of everything is a racial or familial characteristic, or if it is possibly the first warning symptom of a coming obsessive compulsive episode. for example. we are looking to buy a new car for me to drive. we have both begun to get the feeling that the little car i drive now is rapidly approaching entrance to that great big drive-in theater in the sky. so for nearly a year, he has been picking up "Auto-Trader" and the "nickle-nick" at the grocery store on a weekly basis, and poring over the pages with intense concentrations. so imaging my surprise when i find that he is not in anyway way ready to buy, he just wants to know what is out there.
I don't work that way. I don't want to look UNTIL i am ready to buy, because i will find something, fall in love with it, and then be unable to HAVE it.
which brings me to my present predicament. after having found the "perfect" car, a 1999 toyota rav 4, in great condition, with low(ish) miles, and most importantly,a nice exterior, leather seats and a sunroof for a very good price, his need to bargain raises its head. after having a mechanic check the car out, he proceeds to offer the owner $1,200 less than she is asking for it. in my mind that is quite a step down in price. and i am guessing the owner thought so too, as that was the last we heard of her.
the moral of this story is either, a. don't take my husband car shopping anymore, or b. try not to care about the car i am looking at, so as not to be disappointed. because i am pretty sure, he isn't going to be changing the way he does things anytime soon.
and the absolute worst part is that i shouldn't be mad, (even though i am, a little), because he was just trying to get us the best deal.
but i REALLY loved that little toyota. it was black. and really cute. and i did i mention the sunroof?

i wanna be samantha brown...

2010-02-09T23:18:00.000-08:00

for a long time, (well at least as long as i have had direct tv, which is about three years, or the duration of my married life) i have loved the travel channel. and apart from my love of the travel channel, i have had a particular admiration for Samantha Brown. and now, in this gloroious year of 210, i have realized. when i grow up, i want to be Samantha Brown. Never mind the fact that my husband is the same age as she is, or that i grew up in the great northwest as opposed to her great northeast. what i love and admire about her is her sense of adventure. i think i was born without mine.
now she is celebrating her tenth anniversary with the travel channel, and as a fan i have been watching the festivitities. what i have discovered, might just change my life, and i don't think i am being over dramatic. she is afraid of water. this seems like a small bit of info until you think about how many snorkle and dive trips she has hosted. how many times has she been surrounded by water she was supposed to get into (surfing, scub, snorkeling etc,) that she has actually enjoyed, all they while being out of her element.
so that is the main reason i want to be samantha brown. her ability to conquer fear with grace. to watch her interact with other cultures is to see what being a traveler should be. and wha i should reming myself of the next time i find myself out of my comfort zone, whether i am in washington state, or romania, or the dominican republic.

if wishes were stitches, i'd be covered in scars...

2010-01-16T15:06:00.000-08:00

there are times when indulging in nostalgia is a very bad idea. and then there are times when it makes you remember the excitement of learning who you really are in the grand scheme of things. it can remind you of friends you may have lost touch with, the things you really loved, and no longer make time for, and it can re-inspire you to go for what you want.
in the past, after a session with the yearbooks, or the photo albums, i have found myself wishing that things had turned out differently. not the big things of course... i am happy with who i married, and my job. but the little things, like wishing i had kept up with my writing. or wishing i had stayed in better touch, or even just been a better friend while i was in touch with people. i would be embarassed remembering things that i had said or done, or that had happened in the past. in fact, the odds are, i am the only one who remembers them.
but last night, i let the nostalgia inspire me, rather than depress. i reached out to people i care about, but haven't spoken to in a long time, and i feel refreshed in my creative efforts. there is so much about who i was that i have been missing, while mostly not even realizing it.

and so, to a certain extent, looking backward has made it possible for me to look forward with new enthusiams. i can't wait to see what the future holds.

i'm bringing andi back...

2010-01-03T21:42:00.000-08:00

every year, at about this time, i tend to get a little stir-crazy. i think it has to do with the ending of the holiday season, which, love it or hate it, does tend to take up a lot of time, and attention. add to that the fact that spring is still several months away, and you have a recipe for the the winter crazies. (at least I do.)
there is so much focus that is put on "starting fresh", "starting your diet", blah, blah, blah, and so on, and so forth, i sometimes like to just chill out, and look at vacation pictures.
now, vacation pictures are a strange thing. being forced to look at anyone else's is like a trip to the endodontist without insurance and the benefit of an anesthetic. but your own pictures are the most interesting and memorable pictures of all time.
i have been very lucky to have wonderful vacations in the last several years. i have more pictures than i care to admit (and most of them i took of myself. hey, if i don't do it, who will?) but looking at them today, did more than just remind me of what a great time we had. it reminded me of who i was becoming then, who i wanted to be, and how i have kind of let that me slip away lately.
some of that has to do with weight of course. i have perfected the art of yo-yo dieting, and to be honest, i am pretty sick of it. some of it has to do what i think people want from me, and expect from me. and part of it has to do with what i thought it meant to be a responsible adult. well, thank goodness i have snapped out of that particular misconception.
so my plan, as of now, is to find the picture that i think best shows the real me. happy, creative, fully in the moment, and not worried about what everyone else thinks. i will print out a copy and keep it with me, as a kind of personal reference map, to keep in touch with where i want to go. i know i can do it, because i already have. and of course, i have the pictures to prove it.

in the coming year, i vow to think for myself...

2010-01-02T09:56:00.000-08:00

but for right now, i am totally going to copy Aunt Becky from over at Mommy Wants Vodka because she is made of the awesome, and i want to be just like her, except like myself, and also this does a pretty good job of summing up 2009 somewhat painlessly. so, thanks Aunt Becky, and while it probably won't be the last time i copy you, i will try to "restrain" myself in the future...

1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?
started a hobby (photography) that i actuallly take seriously.

2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
i have quit making resolutions, because i keep breaking them. when they are so unrealistic it is like setting yourself up to fail.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
my cousin, and it seems every one (female at least) that i went to high school and college with.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Yes.

5. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
self-confidence and the ability to push outside my comfort zones, and enjoy it.

6. What countries did you visit?
oregon and san diego probably don't count, right?

7. What date from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why:
december 15, when my dad's best friend (and someone who was a second dad to me growing up) passed away unexpectedly at the age of 59.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
following through with my photography and actually entering shots in a judged contest. ( it was the county fair, but still...there were a lot of other photographers involved.)

9. What was your biggest failure?
it sounds shallow, but after losing 30 pounds and vowing to never get to that weight again, putting it right back on.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
just the usual sniffles and series of cuts and bruises i live with as one of the klutziest people i know.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
i have been expanding my library at home by buying the library discards ( i think i am over 500 books or so now, and i MUST HAVE MORE!!!)

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
my family is completely awesome, and this feels like the first year i have been able to relate to them as an adult, with my own set of ideals and issues, and no judgement on their part. ( maybe that is more about me, but i sill want to celebrate them.)

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
most celebrities, sports figures and others in the public eye who "go mad with power" and quit living like responsible human beings.

14. Where did most of your money go?
books, music for my shuffle and photography stuff. and also shoes. and snacks. and makeup. i may have a slight spending problem. good thing i get an allowance...=)

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
photography. and harry potter. because really. i am always excited about harry potter.

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?
the first one that came to mind was Lady GaGa's Pokerface, but for a song i actually like, MGMT Electric Feel. (oooh, once i get started, i can't pick just one...)

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? depends on the day.

ii. thinner or fatter? right back where i started.
iii. richer or poorer? poorer after enormous dog surgery bills and several unwarranted attacks by the IRS., but we are slowly recovering.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
following through. like when you say, "i would like to go see the palouse falls", making actual plans to do so.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
doubting myself, and thinking i was not "enough". you know, good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, talented enough...

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
i try not to plan things that far in advance....

21. There was no #21. I don’t know why there was no 21.
I’ll make up my own question here, then. Hmmm.
Name one random thing that people would be surprised to know about you.

i am more or less afraid of the dark in my house, and if i have to get up to use the bathroom at night, i will take my ten pound little dog with me as protection.

22. Did you fall in love in 2009?
yes, with photograpy, which sounds pretty shallow, but really, has opened up whole worlds for me.

23. How many one-night stands?
as a happily married lady, none, but i did have few clandestine encounters with vanilla ice cream, peanut butter and chocolate syrup.

24. What was your favorite TV program?
still the x-files. and pushing daisies, but i can't remember if that was '09 or '08. oh well. however you look at it, i'm stuck in the past.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
probably, and i probably feel guilty about it, and have blocked it from conscious memory.

26. What was the best book you read?
ummm, i can't really answer this, because in september alone i read over thirty books. it is too hard to pick one, and also, kind of too hard to remember everything i have read recently.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
emilie autumn, because there is very little that is as cool as electric violin, and harpsichord. especially when she does traditional classical "with a little pepper" on it.

28. What did you want and get?
a dishwasher. and it is heavenly...

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
julie and julia. it was inspiring, in that it motivated me to get off my butt and do something with whatever i have a passion for. even if it is just for me and my family.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
i turned thirty, and my husband willingly sacrificed his machismo to have a couple's manicure and pedicure. and what is more.... he LIKED it. and i thought it was totally awesome too.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
if we are going for the material stuff, and new digital slr camera with zoom lens package and a carrying case. but mostly a new boldness in living.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
i never should have watched the "what not to wear" marathon, because it led to throwing away all of my favorite "interesting" clothes in favor of a more polished "adult" wardrobe, and now i feel like a soccer mom, and my spirit dies a little more each day.

34. What kept you sane?
my husband (although sometimes he was driving me the other way), my family, photography and books.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
i hate to say it, because it makes me feel like a dirty old lady, but taylor lautner, after the campaign to come back for new moon.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
there is a rule in my house, so i can have a happy marriage. no politics.

37. Whom did you miss?
my younger brother. he moved away, and i really just wish he was here instead.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
i guess i don't get out much, because i can't think of anyone...

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009:
get off your butt and do something.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
doubt thou the stars are fire,
doubt thou the sun doth move,
doubt truth to be a liar,
but never doubt i love...

emilie autumn Opheliac

and it has the added benefit of being shakespearian, from hamlet's letter to ophelia

curse ye, oh krispy kreme...

2009-12-08T12:46:00.000-08:00

for several years now, i have yo-yo'ed with my weight. i quit smoking, and promptly started eating. and naturally, the pounds packed on. then i peeled them off. then i relaxed, started eating indiscriminately again, and along came all the pounds.
this is beginning to be a habit. and i for one am sick of it. so, once again, i have purchased some new work outs (costco had a sale on biggest loser dvd's!) and made up my mind to eat healthy and reasonable portions.
however, i must have forgotten to notify the universe of my intentions, because for the last two days there have been MOUNTAINS of doughnuts at work. doesn't matter if i am hungry or not, if they are there, i will eat them.
and i have been left with the box of krispy kremes, unattended.
even now, they are calling my name. i tried to ease the craving with some black bean soup, but when you can smell, and see (and hear) an old fashioned blueberry cake doughnut, that doesn't come close to doing the trick. and don't even get me started on those lovely little cream-filled bad boys. i need someone to save me from myself.
maybe i could have my jaw wired shut.... i will have to think about that. and while i do, i think i will have a doughnut.

Stuff the Turkey or How I ate like a total pig, in three acts

2009-11-26T12:38:00.000-08:00

okay, so there may not be three acts (yet), but i have eaten like a total pig today, and so far i have only had breakfast. let me tell you, the minute i saw the holiday pancakes ad for IHOP, i knew i was in serious trouble. i mean, really, egg nog pancakes?! who could possibly resist? well, me... i could, and did. i had pumpkin pancakes and they were the AWESOME!!!

anyway, i am sure that as the day progresses, i will continue to consume ridiculous numbers of calories. but i will do so (mostly) guilt free because 'tis the season!

so i hope everyone has a lovely turkey day, or tofurky day, or ham day or whatever. despite all the stress and turmoil and chaos that can lead up to it, i hope everyone gets the chance to sit back, relax, enjoy time with family, and most of all remember all the things that we have to be truly Thankful for.

not to be a "debbie downer", but...

2009-11-23T21:58:00.000-08:00

when i was in high school, and college, i had great plans for my life. i was going to be a poet, and i was going to hobnob with artists, and live in a garret, and starve so prettily, and artistically, and just be "oh so bohemian", and blah,blah,blah. i was going to travel, and try new things, and eat exotic foods, and what is more, i was going to like them!

what the h-e-double hockey sticks happened to me? i used to be able to stay up until all hours of the night, (aka was a total insomniac) and wrote, and "sketched" (aka doodled) and was creative, and most of all, thoughtful and engaged in my life.

lately though, it is like my mind just stopped. i put so little effort into anything lately that i am pretty sure my brain has atrophied into something the consistency of rice pudding. (but without raisins. i HATE raisins.) i make tuna casserole on a regular basis. an exciting night's entertainment involves tv shows about the paranormal, with the occasional wedding planning show thrown in. (even though i have been married for three years now, and as far as i am aware, will not be marrying again, any time EVER.)

i should probably blame it on my thirtieth birthday, which was almost a year ago, and i am still experiencing the mental fall out. i just seem to have realized, that while the girl i was in college was an extremely troubled individual, there is a lot about her that i miss. for whatever reason, i was able to be more true to myself, and less hung up by my many and varied fears then. i was creative. i went places on my own. i didn't need constant company, and entertainment. i enjoyed being alone with my thoughts. I HAD THOUGHTS!

i think the girl i was would think very little of who i have become.

and so, i am resolving to try to recapture the best parts of who i was and wanted to be. no more caring what others think of me. so what if they don't get it, and would rather be bitten by rabid squirrel that look weird, or less than put together, or act out a little bit.

if it makes me happy, and isn't illegal, i am going to try to just get in the habit of going for it.

that is, as long as it doesn't involve sports, things flying at my head or going really fast on a motorized vehicle. after all, some fears are good things.

oh poop.

2009-11-06T20:50:00.000-08:00

while i would, at this moment, dearly love to write a flaming blog of death dealing with the evils of a certain pooper i know whose job title starts with an h and rhymes with wusband, i would probably regret it later. provided i actually decide to forgive him. (which i will, OF COURSE.)

suffice it to say, the thing that really sucks about not thinking before you speak, is that what you say will always be remembered by the person you say it to, and while you may not have really meant it, odds are, that person is wounded to the bleeding point.

i am going to be hurting for a long time over something that in the scheme of things, is pretty frickin' trivial. oh well, that is life.

now presenting!

2009-11-01T14:38:00.000-08:00

the only real bummer about this costume is that the year i have my best idea, i have no plans, and spent the night watching tv. ah well, such is life!

i can do it!

2009-10-31T09:13:00.000-07:00

here we are, preparing to "celebrate" another halloween. which, for me means staying home, eating a jack o'lantern shape pizza and watching the five scariest episodes of the ghost hunters. EVER! last year, i made a solemn vow to not leave the house again on halloween as the whole world tends to go mad. after weeks of watching a family member try to recover (unsuccessfully) from the fall out, i decided that it just wasn't worth it anymore. i don't drink, i don't party, so why not stay home?
but don't think for a minute that means i won't be dressing up. i am... in fact during the "safe" daytime hours, i am going to manufacture as many errands as i can think of, all so people can enjoy the splendor and eye searing cuteness that is me, dressed up as rosie the riveter. ta-da! and of course, since i am totally enamored of looking a photos of myself (ALL THE TIME) pictures to follow.
Happy Halloween kids!

does this couch make my butt look big?

2009-10-05T13:32:00.000-07:00

as a direct result of a late night trip to hasting's on friday night, i spent a truly appalling amount of time with my butt firmly wedged into the groove i have previously worn into the couch cushion. i know i shouldn't have spent the money, but i just couldn't resist buying season two of the x-files on dvd. and of course, once purchased, it has to be viewed IMMEDIATELY, if not sooner. (it isn't even a relevant show that i couldn't tear myself away from.)
the only thing that kept me from finishing all twenty five episodes (i have two and a half to go!) is that i couldn't figure out how to get the tv and dvd player into the shower without electrocuting myself.
oh, the shame... oh, the horror... oh, i had better get some more microwave popcorn, so i have snack while i finish watching it tonight.

tuna casserole anyone?

2009-10-02T12:14:00.000-07:00

i have to admit, that while i would love to be taken for a sophisticated, elegant "lady" type, the sad fact of the matter is that i really, really love tuna casserole. in the interest of full disclosure, i really, really like a lot of foods that could be termed, for lack of anything better, "white trash".
i am talking fried spam sandwiches, chili mac, pigs in a blanket, velveeta only grilled cheese sandwiches, bakery frosting, and i have a nearly unholy love of brown sugar and cinnamon pop-tarts. but i have recently discovered something else about myself. i am often more interested in the description of a food item, than i am in actually eating. so, i borrowed a few tricks to make myself feel better about my decidedly low class eating habits.
therefore, pigs in a blanket are now par-boiled tube steaks enrobed in a flaky crescent roll. tuna casserole is now a baked pasta and flaky fish in a creamy mushroom gravy, topped with a golden layer of bubbly melted cheddar cheese. sounds delish, no?
so, anyone up for an exotic spiced ham, pan seared and topped with caramelized pineapple, on a sliced artisan loaf, with a creamy emulsion? (fried spam sammich with pineapple and mayo... boy that really hits the spot!)

how did THOSE get there?!

2009-10-01T16:55:00.001-07:00

okay, perhaps a little back story is needed. i live in an old house. it was built in 1907, and has hardly been changed at all in the hundred plus years since. now, on the one hand it is pretty cool to live in an older house, living history, lots of character, blah blah blah.... on the other, it is riddled with inconveniences and the kind of quirks that realtors love to point out as unique, but in reality are ginormous pains in the you-know-where. things like one electrical outlet per room. the original knob and tube wiring that leads to many prayers of protection from fire, every time we try to run a vacuum (which oddly enough, given the presence of three dogs, is not that often). no insulation. and no lighting in the living room which is where i do my makeup in the mornings, since the fluorescent light in the bathroom would give a swiss milk maid the yellowed complexion of pony-keg-a-day drinker.
now even with three strong table lamps in the living room, the light is not the best. there have been occasions, on arriving at work, where my dad has asked why my face is all bruised, and i have had to remove the several pounds of blush i had previously applied to combat my at home pallor. these are minor things that can be easily dealt with.
today however, i nearly wee'd myself when the light hit me just right, for what did i see on my face, but two eyebrows of gandalf-ian proportions! (but i am glad to say, it was indeed two eyebrows i saw, and not the dreaded uni brow) i would not be surprised to find that these eyebrows have gained wizard powers of their own. but not to fear! i shall forthwith vanquish the monstrosities with the timely application of my own brand of magic...tweezerman slanted tip tweezers. now once more into the fray good gentle persons!

you say moody, i say temperamental...

2009-10-01T12:53:00.000-07:00

so like the total book dork i am (my nickname in junior high and high school was, i kid you not, book maggot [cuz it was so much more than being a book worm ]), i actually looked up the definition of temperamental, just to be sure i knew what i was talking about. it is official. while my husband would say i am moody, in my quest for total self-delusion, i have decided to go with temperamental. it really doesn't matter that THEY ARE THE SAME THING!!!! no, no, moody sounds unpleasant and hormonal, while the other is redolent of poetic artsy fartsiness. you know, heathcliff and cathy on the moors, lord byron, dying of consumption, just all that romantic stuff. and in theory, it gives m license to act all weird, since you know artists and creative types...they are all so TEMPERAMENTAL. the sad truth of the matter is, it is probably just plain old moodiness, and i should just get over myself.

on a mostly unrelated note, on my trip through the dictionary, i found my new favorite word of the week!
*ahem* Slopwork - (noun) 1. The manufacture of cheap ready made clothes (is there any other kind?!) 2. Such clothes themselves (see above note) 3. Any work of inferior quality (that's my specialty!)

blue funk

2009-09-30T13:33:00.000-07:00

i don't know if it is the completion of a project, or the season, or just the fact that i ate too many brownies last night, but i cannot seem to get myself out of this blue funk. it isn't that i am depressed (at least not more so than usual), just that i can't seem to get motivated to do anything. i slept for more hours this weekend than i have since high school. ( can it really be twelve years since high school?! i might hyperventilate...) the dishes are piling up, my husband is wasting away since i can't seem to be bothered to make dinner, and nothing seems interesting.
i did just finish a giant collage project on my dining room wall. it turned out well, normally i would be raring to go on another project, but right now all i want to do is sit on the couch and let my eyes glaze over while staring dumbfounded at reruns of bones and destination truth. even excessive amounts of coffee aren't getting my engine revving.
add to that the fact that my husband has the energy levels and attention span of a cracked out twelve year old. every time he calls me on his lunch break he has a ten page list of things he wants to do after work including but not limited to...working out, winterizing the house, working on the cars, sweeping out the garage, playing his bass. Seriously?! there have been days lately where i couldn't even drag myself through the shower because it was too much work. oh well, if there is one thing i do well, it is doing nothing. i guess for now, i will just go with my strengths.

a little adventure with an abandoned bridge, and transient.

2009-08-08T17:48:00.000-07:00

so, today, in the pursuit of Independence, and being all artsy and crap, i thought, as i had nothing better to do, that i would find things to take pictures of. i have recently deemed myself a "photographer", and sporadically wander about snapping shots of the underside of maple trees, and extreme close ups of various flowers, etc. the really surprising thing about all this, is that i don't completely suck. (well surprising to me anyway.) okay, back on track.

generally, when i want to take any pictures, i make my husband accompany me to one of the many gorgeous parks around town. today, however, he was working, and since i am getting really tired of being one of those people who can't seem to do anything alone, i thought, "that is it. i am going to go, BY MYSELF, to take some pictures."

for awhile now i have been eyeballing this old abandoned rail road bridge that crosses the river near my house. there is just something really striking about the combination of symmetrical iron bars over the river, and all the trees growing down the banks. because the centennial trail goes right by it, the actual entrance to the bridge has been closed with chain link fencing, because apparently, no one trusts us to think for ourselves, and also, to not fall down.

in my newly brave and independent state i decide that i should climb over all the underbrush, and railings to the mouth of the tunnel, so i can stick my camera through the fence and get some (in my mind) REALLY COOL PICTURES!!!! so after taking some far and near shots, i get to climbing. at this point, i am fairly sure i was talking to myself out loud, about how best to approach the coming climb without

A. hurting myself, but good, and

B. falling in the river carrying my camera and other difficult or expensive to replace items.

the other important thing to note about the location of this very picturesque bridge, it that it is more or less across the street from the union gospel mission. therefore, i should have been unsurprised by the fact that i was essentially climbing around in some one's "home". i think i would have been okay, if not for the fact that, i am pretty sure he was relieving himself.

it was a much shorter trip back through the underbrush, and over the rails, than it had been getting there.

but the day wasn't a complete wash. i managed to get some good pictures anyway.

a random mish mash

2009-07-11T08:53:00.000-07:00

it has only been a little over a month since vacation, and i am already champing at the bit for my next one. i am sure that is partially since i will actually get to go somewhere this time, and i love the oregon coast, almost beyond words. the majority of the reason though, is that i am just kind of burned out on everything around here. while home ownership is fantastic for the most part, there is a never ending list of things to fixed, cleaned, mowed, just cared for in general. and when you are married to a "workaholic" there is very little time left over to just play. he seems to enjoy constantly having something to work on, and while he doesn't necessarily expect me to be the same way, it makes me feel guilty to not be working just as hard as he is. then he will say things like, "i wish you had some friends to go and do this stuff with..." whenever i ask to go with him and do things. i have never been the type to be crowded with friends, and i do have a few friends in town that i see on occasion, but now i wonder how much of a freak i really am. i have gotten fairly insular, especially since i got married. and i used to go places myself all the time, but now, even thinking of going to the park to take pictures makes me pause, unless he can go with me.
maybe the problem, is not that i need to take another vacation, but that i need to start stretching myself on a daily basis. i should actively inhabit life, rather than just taking it as it comes. then question then is, is that so totally out of character for me that it can't be done? or have i gotten the way i feel i am now out of sheer laziness, and complacency?

poor puppy. poor me.

2009-06-01T12:48:00.000-07:00

after a week's vacation i would expect to find myself back at work at least partially refreshed and relaxed, but instead, i feel like i need to recover from a week of non-stop stress and worry. of course, that isn't entirely true. i did get to have some fun, but the majority of the week was spent taking care of my two year old goldendoodle, who had to have surgery on a dislocated hip.
there is nothing worse than having an animal (or small child for that matter) in pain. when you can't explain it to them, and tell them it won't hurt forever, it is horrible. she is doing much better now, but she is still limping around on three legs, and there is really no knowing when she will be back to normal. or as close to it as possible.
added to that, the high cost of medical care, even for pets is absurd. it seems to be an industry that has pet owners over a barrel. go broke paying to have your animal cared for, or be a real bastard of an owner just to save money. guess which route we took. =) this has been the year of unexpected expenses, and none of them were avoidable. just when we had heaved a sigh of relief and hatched a plan to build up our savings, we find ourselves $8000.00 down.
i do know that this too shall pass, but in the meantime, give me a break! enough already!
i could really get on board with a winning lottery ticket right about now.

brain drain

2009-05-22T20:06:00.000-07:00

so the main reason i thought i would post entries (other than because it seems less like talking to myself if i put it online) was to kind of kick start my creativity. however, i got nuthin'. pretty sad for someone who used to pride herself on her writing. (and maybe that is the problem. pride goeth before a fall and all of that.) i never really had to work too hard to be pleased with the things i was writing before. of course i had more "free" time then, as i was in college and not taking it too seriously. now. with all the joys of being a responsible, employed adult, far too often i feel like i want to come home and turn my brain off completely. oh well. i am on vacation this week, so maybe i can recharge, and instead of being slightly eaten up with jealousy when i see some creative type "creating", just maybe i can get some ideas and some follow through of my own. otherwise, i may as well hang it up, and just become one of those vacant sit-com watchers that i fear i am becoming.

it is not looking good...

2009-04-30T07:05:00.000-07:00

still no sign of fred and ginger, so i am fairly certain by now that the landlord has "done away" with them. wouldn't you think if the pigeons were really a problem, that they would have cleaned up the nest and remaining mess the last time they killed them off? it doesn't make much sense to me to kill the poor birds, but leave the nest and other signs of pigeon life, especially since the reason they killed them was to get rid of the nuisance. it would almost be easier to swallow if they would just admit that they like shooting and killing things. at least it would be honest.

pigeons and puppy mills...

2009-04-28T12:50:00.000-07:00

we have a pair of nesting pigeons above the employee entrance at work. i named them fred and ginger, which i really shouldn't have done, as the last time we had pigeons the landlord's son and his friend killed them. i was furious, since killing them was totally unnecessary. we weren't bothered by them, they weren't causing a tremendous mess, and it was pretty cool getting to see the nesting and hatching up close. i haven't seen them today, and now i am starting to be concerned... i hope they are okay. of course, i am the only one here who even cares, so it isn't like i can campaign for their safety...
which brings me to the program i watched on animal planet last night about puppy mills. it is heartbreaking that these dogs are crammed in cages for life. many states do not have stringent enough laws to protect the animals, and those that do only require the bare minimum of care (food, shelter and water). people who abuse animals should be skinned. or at least subject to similar penalties as people who abuse children. generally they receive a fine, and a short probation period. it is nowhere near punishment enough. if i had a hundred million dollars, i would rescue every dog i could get my hands on.
i wonder what it says about me as a person, when i have more compassion and anger on behalf of animals, than i do for people? oh well. i can learn to live with it.

2009-04-26T18:23:00.000-07:00

Yeah...so this is why i should never be left to my own devices with plastic easter grass, and a digital camera.

i can't let my little brother get ahead of me....

2009-04-26T16:59:00.000-07:00

in a misguided effort to "keep up", and since it would totally suck if i let my little brother be that much cooler than me, here is my contrubution to this crazy little interwebernet. and that concludes anything remotely interesting that i might have to say on the subject...